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- Client centered approach
- Skillfully leading someone into their process
- Care for the client
- Client is a boss and practitioner a servant
- Importance of completing our own issues as practitioners
- Importance of controlling our own sexual energy as therapists
Old comments
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I love the part where you mention it’s important to hold the client with whatever they are going thru. Take the client into my whole energy body. Love 💕 this.
De’an, You say there are many ways and practices of supporting people to identify and find their boundaries. Do you talk about examples of this in later videos?
thank you! It would be great to take one of your courses in the flesh but I live in Australia and so cannot see that happening at this time. I’ve worked with sacred sexuality and other embodied modalities and ways of healing, and can feel-understand what you mean that this is experiential. I guess I was getting at less that vision-sense we develop and more any concrete practices or methods you use to support yourself and your client find (y)our boundaries?
I hear you. I’ll think about a way to show it on video.
Boundary training is by default a part of real life trainings as it’s not possible to talk about it. One needs to experience those dynamics in real life to really understand and learn about them. Once they are understood and mastered one can educate and work with clients on defining their boundaries. My suggestion is to attend one of our real life trainings in time to come where you can learn more about it.
De’an, Setting boundaries before starting a session and stick to them during the session is really essential. And yes i have experienced that during a session the receiver wanted more, crossing her own boundary. I didn’t. And yes, afterwards she was glad i did stick to the set boundaries. My question: sometimes it is difficult for a person to set boundaries. I have learned to talk about boundaries and barriers. Boundaries being more or less flexible to try during the session. Barrier being a 100% fixed roadblock, a big do not cross. Do you make distinction between boundaries and barriers? Or is the boundary you talk about the 100% fixed one?
Well, I generally keep the boundary fixed. Occasionally i decide to change them but not very often. This keeps trust and integrity strong. If a person has a difficulty defining their boundaries I work with them to define them. There are many ways and exercises that help people define their boundaries. But then it’s a conscious, premeditated and well communicated practise in boundary setting. So then of course we will cross some of them in order to define them.
Ok, that’s clear to me. So boundaries for you are fixed, not to be crossed. Or in advanced agreed upon to slowly try out during the session. What about forgetting area’s, which can rise during the session. How to handle that during the session? Suspend session and start communication about that, and resume session. I think this can be tricky. Or always stop, talk about that, but do not resume session. Reschedule new session on another day?
Not sure what you mean about forgetting areas? Everything is clear if communicated clearly before. If my boundary is crossed during the session, I just mention in to the client and ask them not to cross it again. I would only give two warnings then if repeated third time I would stop the session. And I will never cross clients boundary we agreed on so there is no issue there.
Everything is clear if communicated clearly before. That’s true, but what if you encounter during the session an area/something, where you did not talked about before the session start. A blind spot.
You can see it as a dance Nico. You have to respond to changes quickly in the session. Often responding from your inner knowing of what’s good and what not. Its’ difficult to answer your question. Best answer I can give is that over the years of working my sense of integrity, and knowing the line I should follow developed. All of this is not a science but an art. And as such you need to trust your inner knowing and guidance a lot. And this will develop with practise.